The first foe I faced in Alpha Protocol was a soldier who burst through a door. I was unarmed, so I ran to the far side of a table that was in the middle of the room. The soldier chased me halfway around the table and then reversed, trying to catch me on the other side. I switched directions and the soldier did too. I switched again. The soldier switched. Back and forth we do-si-do’d. For five minutes I outsmarted this trained militiaman with toddler tactics. "All around the cobbler's bench," I thought, "The monkey chased the weasel…"
Alpha Protocol, as it declares boldly on its game box, is "The Espionage RPG," so I thought maybe the brain-dead soldier was a fluke—an uninformed flunky who was merely teasing me during my training. After all, espionage is about stealth and subterfuge. Surely things would be better as I moved from combat training into actual spy activities. But when I finally found my way to the covert heart of Alpha Protocol, I discovered that the espionage elements of the game are merely mini-games about picking locks and bypassing security systems.





